Christmas belly and feeling sick....

So everyone, since I haven't posted an HNT in FOREVER.... I decided to post a lovely picture of my post christmas belly. Now, I really didn't pig out over Christmas, but I've been sick for two weeks and I haven't been to the gym in about a month now. So, I feel sooo lazy and bloated. I recently decided to try the relationship thing, (yeah I know... WHAT AM I THINKING?) so being sick really sucks. I feel so un-sexy!!!! Is that a word? Anyway, I feel like shit and I'm extrememly self consious of my snotty nose, heavy breathing through mouth which causes chapped lips and phlelgm inducing cough which makes me feel like my breath is like
draculas. Not to mention... bad skin & cloudy tired eyes.
Thank goodness the guy I'm seeing has been sick also
I can't wait to get well, then I hope I'll get to the gym,
do my yoga and start on a new year.
Any New Years resolutions out there


I think I'm going to quit my job soon.
Most of you know how much I hate it.
I'm just too chicken shit to actually do it.
I hate to leave someone hanging.
But, as someone told me today...
I am what matters.
And if my health is directly effected by my job,
mental and physical,
then I need to look out for myself.
He asked me what I wanted to do.
And I couldn't answer.
Why at 33 do I not know what I want to do?


Okay, that was quite the tangent. I hope everyone has a great New Years. I'll be working, once again.
I am going to make the New Year count.

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to send everyone very Merry Christmas thoughts and wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did get a camera, so woo hoo.... I can start having fun with pictures again. I thought I'd send everyone a good Christmas morning picture to everyone, until I looked in the mirror. SCARY!!! Besides, I have to figure out how to work the damn thing anyway! I'm off to my parents house for a day full of family, friends and food. YEAH!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to all my blogger friends out there!!!!!!!!!!!

Helloooooooooooo Everybody

I just got my new puter hooked up and online. It feels great. Except that the screen is bigger than the keyboard, hey I just realized that. Wired. Note to self, bigger keyboard. It feels funny. Anyway.... Just wanted to post and say that I was up and running. Now, I hope to post more than I did before, or at least with more frequency than I have been. I hope everyone is having a fantastic holiday season. I sure can't seem to get into the groove of it at all. Last year I was going to soo many parties in HHI, and I was definitely in the spirit even though it was like 75 degrees there. This year, I can't seem to get into it. I tried to suggest a fun dinner with friends to celebrate the season, you know... Fancy dress, dinner, cocktails, good conversation and maybe dancing later and they all acted like that was the strangest thing ever. Now, I was talking just a nice dinner and such, they turned it into having some sort of party bus or something. Now, if we were in a big city, then great... Let's eat dinner, have drinks and bar hop in the limo. Big time!!!! But, let's face it ... my town has no cool bars to bar hop to. You want to bar hop to places to be seen and to be fabulous at, not the local watering hole where there is a line of trucks and El Caminos outside and a slew of Mullets waiting inside and they've never heard of a Cosmo and their idea of a glass of wine is Beringer White Zin. Now, that all sounds negative and snobby, I know, and god bless this town... but... I wanted to "go out out" (like that, LMAO!) You know, like fabulous food, fabulous fun and fabulous people. (why the hell am I using the word fabulous soo much? ) I'm such a dork. It just seems like the "going out" that people like to do in this town is to drink beer, get wasted and get laid. That seems to be the objective. No one celebrates, well except for the annual Christmas party that all the places of business have of course to show their employees how much they care about them. Well, and most bosses make the employees pay for their dinner. That's shitty! Now this little shing ding was supposed to happen Friday night, and already people are backing out. Well, that's okay. I'd rather just hang out with Weed, maybe my sister and eat a good dinner, laugh like freaks and then get a buzz and maybe just maybe get my ass on the dance floor at Diggers (that's only a possiblity Weed!) and get to bed early. That would be an ideal Christmas party for me here. LOL! Also, another bitch about the season.... The cold weather doesn't make me think of Jolly times for Christmas, it makes me think that it's fucking cold and there's no way I'm going to the gym. I'm going to hibernate in my house all day and night. I hate it when I feel that way. I haven't been to the gym in three weeks. That's HORRIBLE!!!!! The weather makes me feel lazy, but my health hasn't been the best either. I've seriously had a cold or something forever it feels. It's soooooooo annoying. Tomorrow, I'm going. I'm going to go run, and then I'm going to come home and do this kickass yoga DVD I got . Or maybe vise versa, but anyway... I'm going to do the yoga DVD for sure. The running depends on if I'm not hacking up my lungs still tomorrow. Hopefully my nose will be clear so I can do the DVD also. Breathe in Breathe out. Well, now that I've been a snob and rambled about lack of "fabulous" establishments in my town, and disgusted you with how snotty my nose is and how much phlegm I can cough up, I'll let you all sleep tight and have a wonderful night!

Greetings from OZ

Actually, I can't say OZ. Kansas definitely isn't like some fairy tale land called OZ. It's fricken cold and barren. Well, except for the eastern side of the state. It's pretty there. Actually, Kansas isn't that bad. I'm just pissy because it's so damn cold here. I guess I just have to get used to it. First I want to apologize to everyone for not keeping this blog up. I've been busy with life and have neglected to vent and post for therapy for quite sometime. Secondly, I don't have a digital camera anymore, so hopefully I will get one soon so I can have fun posting pics of my world for you all to see. Thirdly, I won't be posting again for a while because my home computer has officially died and I have to get a new one. I would post from work, if I could have sometime in the office. But, my job is one of those jobs where there isn't any down time, and your constantly on the go from the moment you walk through the door until you walk out it at night. Today I slept all afternoon, so I decided to hang out and post this before I went home. I'm not going to get rid of this blog, because I really do enjoy reading the comments and I look forward to reading everyone else's blogs. I also enjoy the therapeutic factor of it. I probably won't write more until the new year, unless I get my puter at home working. I just wanted to say hello, and I wish everyone the best holiday season.

I do want to say something though real quick.... Why isn't life fair sometimes?

I know, struggles build character, they give you strength and wisdom.... blah blah blah.....

I really don't want to hear it.

It's all true, but now I'm just frustrated....

what am I doing with my life? Why isn't it working out? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I be in love? Why is the one that would be the closest the furthest away? Why don't I know for sure it would be him? What do I want to do with my life? Why don't I like what I'm best at? Why am I so scared to to develop my creative side? Why can't I be more secure? Why do I go through most of my day uncomfortable? Why do I feel so hopeless? Why can't I relax?

just why?

okay, enough of my rambling....

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. I'm sooo excited to hang out with my niece on Christmas. She will just be 1. Isn't that cute?

I will check in as often as I can.

Happy Holidays!!!!