Confessions....

Ummmm, it's 7am and I'm still up. Guess what I'm doing............

I like it. A lot.

Always have.

My ex, who I ended up hanging with tonight suggested it. Interesting.

So we did, and now he's passed out in my bed and I'm awake typing to you all.
Cyber Space.
We've never done it together, and tonight was a surprise.
He brought it up, interesting again.
I told him he was taking me to my lowest level. and he was doing it on purpose.
He said no.
But I know whether he did it on purpose or not, I'm actually glad.
I'm tired of hiding that part of me. So what if on occasion I do it.
We did it all.
Talked a lot.
No crazy fucked up sex. Just hanging. It was good. LOL
not the stuff, but just hanging without the "oh let's have sex" thing
don't get me wrong, the shit was good, but ...............
very nice. high fives actually
No sex like I know all too well how it can be while your feeling the high.
Interesting........
that I wasn't feeling the sexual thing.
I actually haven't had sex since February. and it was with him. Funny!
or better yet, what's wrong with me?
why am I not horny?
seriously,
over all?
I was the other day for a sec..... then I masturbated, and didn't cum but was then done with it.
huh?
Now I'm drinking a dbl bourbon and sprite to try to come down.
smoking a menthol, I don't even smoke. C what this shit does to me? LOL
we did have some pretty good conversations.
sometimes I feel like no one understands me
one more cig, and then I'm done........
sorry for the mindless rambling. What? why am I sorry? I'm just talking out loud.
that is what this thing is all about.
why do I feel for that man snoring in my bed?

man, I'm going to have one hell of a smokers headache tomorrow. or today I mean.... LOL
I'm really not that spunky, LOOL
winding down
there are two men in my life which knew me
one is on the east coast
one here
not the ex, but someone who gets me
even if I had them, I don't know if it would be it...........
k,
sade has such a great soothing voice.
k
it's time for bed.............
thanks for listening
kisses and hugs