Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm posting so late.

This is the best I could come up with right now.

Happy HNT!!!!!

As promised

Weed!

Here you go, as promised this Monday and next Monday I will post my prom picutres.

I only found two different years.

This one in my Junior picture.

Man, I look like a bitch.

Damn. Anyway, maybe this will give everyone a laugh on another nasty Monday.

Check out that saucy hair do!

LOL

Another day at work...........

What a great Sunday!

I wake up to a cloudy sky and a cloudy head, as you already know.
Then it starts to rain like crazy. Not good for the bride and groom that are getting married at noon on the deck. Definatly not good for me, since the mother of the bride thinks I'm god and can make the rain stop.

Then, the roof starts to leak. LOL, yep... no shit.

So, I called the AC boys and told them to come after 3 to check it out. Then I spent the duration of the wedding reception emptying bus tubs full of water that I had propped up underneath the AC unit in the attic. I carried a total of 15 gallons down those fricken stairs. Fun! I had to rigg it up, so that the water wouldn't just drain on the floor of the attic which of course would cause the ceiling to cave in on the the mother of the bride's table conviently located very close to the leaking part of the ceiling.


Then the sky broke.

Then the leak stopped, and slowly but surely the ceiling started to dry out. That's when I finally was able to take some pictures of it. Next, the sun came out. Yippy!

Now, party is over. They are happy and I'm off to the house for a cocktail and a nice bath. The headache I woke up with is still here, and I'm hoping a little hair of the dog with make it go away.

Ruff! Ruff!

One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer....

Good morning!
Do I sound chipper? I'm practicing. I have a hangover and I've got to work this morning. Fuck. I didn't really drink that much, it's just been a while since I've drank as much as I did. We had a great time though.

Don't we look like it? LOL

Oh, I only had one of those shots.

That round anyway!

Breaking ties

Just a quick OMG... I just broke it off with my convenient / "really want to be with him" fuck. Over IM. LOL, how funny. Sorry, no... not really funny, kinda tacky actually. But, he texted me while I was at work, and I didn't dare to text back so late. So I sent him an IM to tell him that I didn't' want to call or text this late. & I figured that now was better than never. He was just looking to get laid anyway, since I've ignored him for a month. I really just haven't been feeling it lately. Well, at least not with him. Tonight, I was just talking about how horny I was and that I wasn't going to break down and call "old reliable". I just don't want to be with him anymore. Not that we were together, but we were fucking and talking. Actually we had a great thing going. No commitments, no strings attached, good friendship. But, I'm just over it with him. Sound crude? It does by reading this, but there is more to the story. I'm just too tired to talk about it right now. I just wanted to say "OMG, I can't believe I just broke up with someone I'm not really seeing or should be seeing through an IM" Can you break up with someone when your not really seeing them? I felt the need to do the "break up" primarily because we are more emotionally and mentally connected than a typical "drunken friend fuck". I felt that out of respect to him and me, I needed to officially say "Hey, I'm ignoring you because I'm not into you anymore" I will elaborate at a later date. He can be used in the Demons section if and when I ever get to it. Anyway, just for every person out there, I did the cop out thing and "broke up" with someone in a cowardly way. I think you should always do the nasty work face to face. It's more respectful. But, oh well.... It's done. There's nothing I can do about it. Sleep tight fellow bloggers. And I really hope Weed is drinking the wedding party under the table tonight. I know she can drink. Have fun girl!

Another Night at the Office........

Okay, done with work. Or I mean, I'm done with what work I felt like doing. so I sit here and think all sorts of random thoughts. About the day, about people, about things.....

About the day -
with in the last two days I've been to TJ Max three times. First I bought clothes, then I tried them on at home, went back to exchange them out for more and a pair of shoes, then I went back again because those clothes didn't fit like I wanted them too. Now you ask, why not try on there? Well, because I was in a hurry both times and was with my boss. So, we just cruised through there really quick before lunch. We are both addicted to TJ Max.
Next, I went bra shopping. Ladies, you all know how fun that is. But, I was on a mission. I had to get a new bra, or two to go under my new sheer shirts. I HATE bra shopping. It's like the one necessary thing we need, but it's the most dreaded shopping experience in our life. Now boys, you guys go "what's the big deal?" "it's just a bra?" Yes, we know that believe me. But, how you see our boobies everyday is dependent upon what bra we wear. You see them as nice, perky, round or even possibly as voluptuous. We know they are pulled up, strapped in, pushed together, made fuller and nipples contained. So men reading this, thank your girl for going through the pain of bra shopping just so that we can give you the illusion that our boobs are perfect. Now I speak of course to those of us women out there that need to wear a bra for whatever reason. For all of you perky girls that don't need to wear a bra, fuck off and die. LOL

About people -
My boss informed me today that it is very evident when I don't like a person. Damn it man! I thought I was being sneaky. LOL. Actually, it caused me to wonder... is that a bad thing?
If someone asks me something, I tell them the truth. I won't lie. If need be, I can weasel out of being too brutally honest, but over all I think I'm honest with tack. But, if it's obvious when I don't like someone by my actions and reactions to them, then that bothers me. I don't want to be a "bitch". I try to be very polite and respectful to everyone. But, if I think someone is just stupid and ignorant I do have a hard time respecting them. So, I guess it shows. We were referencing our Chef of Security, and his attitude towards me the last couple of days. I guess he's pissed off at me, he's probably had enough of my disrespect. Tee- Hee!!! He's got to be the most ignorant person that I've ever worked with, or at least one of them. Obviously, it my feelings must show. LOL, thank god he's not my boss. But, I still feel shitty. So, I'm going to make a conscious effort to show more respect, he is an elder and his wife is slowly dying of cancer.
Crap, I feel bad now.

About things -
All this thinking about how I show my feelings got me thinking about why I was feeling so negative. The last time I felt so irritated by people, situations, work or whatever..... I at a very negative time in my life. I was running a bar back home, and I was soo stressed out. I wasn't a nice person, now some wouldn't think that, but I didn't feel like a nice person. and I'm sure my employees & vendors felt that way sometimes. I let the tiniest of things get to me. It was always this or always that it seemed. Now I know part of that was because of the responsibilities I had, but I think a lot of it was just because I wasn't happy with my life at that point. Then I moved, and life changed. I opened up, became happier and much more relaxed. Now I have moved again, and I've only been here for a year. Beautiful scenery, beautiful people. New experiences, new ideas. So, why do I feel so crappy? Why do I have that tightening through my shoulders again? Is it because I am in control of something again? I have serious job responsibilities again? Possibly, but when I lived in my previous place, I ran a retail store. I had responsibilities there. Or did I? Not really, the owner and I were really the only two people that worked there, besides Christmas time. So, she never really let go. I just had the pay and fancy title. Maybe it was the lack of responsibility that made me a more relaxed person. That would make sense, but I like control. So, I'm not quite sure what it is. Why am I so unhappy? Some would think my job is super cool, the place I live in great and so on. I feel guilty that I'm not more thankful for what I have. But, I am. I just am not happy. Do I move? Do I stay and focus on me? Do I move and focus on me? I need to figure it out though, this black cloak that covers me needs to be lifted. It's weighing me down. Damn it!

HNT

Okay Weed, here you go.

Everyone,
this is the inspirational picture for weeds famous character of me.

I Love it!
I think she did a good job!

LMAO

Big Sister 101

Wednesday night -

I had every intention tonight of talking about demons. I had been working up to it all day. But, then I got blind sighted with a phone call.

My younger brother, the youngest of the family, called me for advice.
Left me a message that said, "Please call me back. It's kinda important."

Family history in short form: Moved out when I was 17, been back (in house) off and on since then. Big age gap between me an other siblings, next oldest is 6 yrs younger than me. Caller just turned 21 in December. I wasn't really around while they (the other siblings) were growing up.

First thought? He's in Jail or trouble and I don't' have the money to bail him out. Fuck! Not that he's a bad kid, but...... I'm afraid that I'm considered to be the "cool older sister" that parties and such, so why not call her instead of the parental units when in trouble.
Thankfully, that wasn't the case.
Instead, he needed advice on what to do with his life.
And he needed to make a decision today.
"Please tell me your in jail and I need to come up with some money!"
That's what I wanted to scream when he started with his questioning. That response was 100 times easier than trying to frantically search for some good solid sound advice that would make a difference to him and in turn make a difference in his life.
Shit, the pressure!
How do you give advice when you need it yourself?
I was honest. I am always honest. I can't not be honest. I have to be true to myself. It's unfair to everyone that knows me if I'm not true to myself. Then they won't actually know me.
Wow, did I get off on a tantrum or what? I think that's the Demon speech I had prepared coming out.
I've got to get some sleep.

Today -
To continue my story...
I gave him my honest opinion. Which isn't always what the person questioning wants to hear. Well, he called me back last night to tell me that he took my advice. Whew...
First test score: A+
First lesson learned: Get your act together because others look to you for advice and as a role model.
Crap!

On another note, I've got to get going because Weed is nagging at me to get my HNT up today, not tonight. So I've got to ditch the office for a bit to head home and get that up. I hope everyone has a great Thursday! Thanks for letting me ramble.
(forgive all spelling errors, spell check isn't working)

Owner Appreciation Day

Hello Everyone!

Owner Appreciation Day sucks!

Answer stupid questions about the Beach Club.
Answer stupid questions about rental of the Beach Club.
Listen to residental property owners bitch because it's not a community center, seeing as they paid for it of course.
Listen to Timeshare owners bitch because it doesn't have a bar or restaruant.
Listen to everyone bitch because it's not open to the public.
My head is going to explode.................

But,
There is some ammusment.
There are some interesting people that walk down this parking lot to the beach.
Very interesting

Oh and of course, I got to scan my head.

Now, don't tell me there isn't fun to be had in all situations! LOL

question

Have you ever went to bed hoping to go to sleep so you could get the day over and start with another one?

And then try to hurry through that day to get to sleep so you could get to the next day after that?

Then rush through that next day to finally get to the next one after that?

Is that life?

I don't think that is what it should be.

But, that's how I'm feeling today.

How do I stop the motion?

tag...

Anteros started a cool picture tag.

Take a picture or pictures of things that define you around your house or room.



Anteros, sorry it's taken me so long.

3 am Saturday morning

Waiting for the Cable guy

The couch I laid on all afternoon

Where I could of been.

Where I should of been.

Could a, Would a, Should of.

Cable isn't fixed.

THE SHIRT

Entering into evidence.
Yes it is a pink flamingo shirt.
Your not imagining things.

I am guilty of owning a
Pink Flamingo Shirt.

Here's the story....
I moved here last May. I got a job working at a clothing store called Fresh Produce. Everything was very "beachy", relaxed & bright. Of course since it's a clothing store, they want you to wear the clothes they sell. All I had was black. Not too "beachy", huh? This shirt came in, and it was tacky love at first sight. I had to have something right? It would go well with all my black skirts and heels, right? And the cotton material and sleeveless cut was perfect because it's so fricken hot here in the summer. So I broke down.
Now, I'm ashamed to say that I no longer work there, but I still wear the shirt sometimes. I've got to say......... I look hot in it with a little black skirt and saucy high heels! LOL

It's a fast and easy solution to a rushed morning.
It's comfy.
It's cool.

Shit, there's no justifying it................... It's so tacky. But, who cares!!!!

I swear I haven't bought the "gold kiddies" that should go along with it.
LOL
My sister and I have a pack. We won't let each other wear gold shoes ever like our grandmothers do. I won't break down on that ever.
Except, have you guys seen the newest shimmering flats? LOL

this is what I saw as I stared with intensity at my screen last night searching for something to say.
Problem was, that I had so much to say that I didn't know where to start. where to go. what to say. how to say it.
Hell! I couldn't even say what I was thinking. Too much on my mind. Brain over load. So I went to bed. Just mentally exhausted. I have too many thoughts rambling through my mind constantly that it all just becomes a big blank white slate after while. like white noise throbbing over and over.

Now, if I could just quite the hum.
I promise I'll write something tomorrow. I've got the whole afternoon to wait for the fricken cable guy. Fun! Damn cable. LOL

Subjects avoided

I don't have the mental strength tonight to go where I wanted to go on my To Do list. But, just a thought to caress...

Do you think people who read books walk around through their day shifting in and out of different realities?
If a book is good, don't you enter it as a participant?

I know personally, when I'm reading an intriguing book, I enter that world frequently during the day.

It can be an escape, a thought provider, an answer to a question, a release or even (if need be) a conversation piece.

I recently started to read again. Now, working three jobs has made it quite challenging to read what I would of completed in three days, in a couple of months.
But,
the other day I had the wonderful sensation while looking around at all the issues going on around me, of retreating back to a chapter in my book that I'm reading and pondering where the author was going in it.
That thought made me smile and reassured me that all the "issues" I had to deal with weren't
consuming my soul.

It comforted me.
It made me smile with
a secret knowledge
that I haven't been consumed by work.
Well, not quite yet.

Goof at an early age....

I'm so hot! LOL

I was working the camera.

Wait...................

My hair looked bad even back then. LOL. It was preparing for my stint in the 80's. Practicing.

To Do List....

Just a quick reminder
of random thoughts
I want to ponder.


Subject 1:
Demons

Subject 2:
People who read.
Walking in a different world.

Subject 3:
The infamous, " I'll never do that again......"

Subject 4:
Peoples perceptions.
Everyone sees things differently.

Sunday afternoon......

Hell kids, I had every intention to post a new intro, a better picture for my profile and talk about all sorts of stuff, but shit...... Sunday afternoon called. I love Sunday afternoons. This is a picture of some friends and I hanging today at Hemmingway's. At the bar by 2pm and home by 5pm. Got to love it. Now though, a short note is all I can do.... I'm too stoned.... sorry....heading for the hammock. I'll just chill for a while and get back to you in a bit.

I hope everyone else had a fantastic Sunday too.

A little bit more of me..........

Hmmmmmmmmmm.......

Tonight I get off work early, it's dead at the bar, and I start to take pictures so I can post them here. I want everyone in "blog land" to see where I work and who I work with so they can get a better sense of me. As I'm taking the pictures, someone asks me if these are my goodbye pictures. No, I reply, they are for my blog. He asked me for the site, I said which one? The erotic one or the other one. Totally joking and really not thinking he would even be interested in either. He said, both. I said no way. I can't do that. He asked why. I just kinda grinned and walked away, did my shot & took a swig of beer. I didn't know how to handle that. So I, being the girl I can be (damn it), totally ignored it and prayed he would forget it. He kept on asking about it every time he could. I finally asked which blog he wanted the address to. He said both or at least the personal one, if need be he said, there's got to be a way to get to the other one through it. That made me cringe. I blushed and said, no way... Especially not now. Because there is a way, and I can't have someone reading that shit, and coming to work the next night with me. Something about that just unnerves me. Not about him as a person reading it, I think he's extremely cool, it was about someone on the other end knowing who I was personally as I wrote it. He was persistent. As much as to put a pen and paper in front of me, and bang on it to "get his point across". I felt really weird about giving him it. I told him no again, and said it was personal. He said, but you can share with strangers? It's on the internet for Christ sakes, he said. True, but.... They don't know who I really am. Is this a weird feeling to have? I told him that I liked the fact that no one really knows who I am. Even though I'm being completely honest, you don't really know me. So it's so wide open. Does that make sense?
Or, is that 2nd shot of crown really kicking in?
I'm not sure if I should tell him or not. I know it's not a big deal to you, but to me, it is. Or at least, it's confusing.

FYI - I haven't slept with him. We've flirted pretty heavily. But, he's got too much baggage and a girlfriend to boot. He's a complex individual. You know, the one that you want to get inside of, but know you shouldn't touch it because it's a heartache waiting to happen.
But, your very flattered that he would even be interested.

promise to post the new pictures and profile tomorrow

I swear I don't look that dorky anymore...........

I might be a dork, but I'm super fly now. LOL. Yes, dork. Or Suckwhore as Scum so affectionately calls me. Hello everyone who comes to see me after Weeds wonderful but humiliating post about me. Got to love her. Which I do. I'm so glad she is a part of my life.
Anyway I just wanted to say ello, and that tomorrow after a hard day at the beach I promise I will create a profile and put up some better pics.

Got to get to work. Yippy! Drunk old people and a band that plays the same set everynight. Love my job.

Crown, Sun & Gary Allan

As I sit down to write this little diddy, I have a nagging urge to grab a cigarette and a bottle of luscious Merlot, cross my legs, sit back and just bask in the glow of life. Chances in life to be more specific. But, then I reach for my coffee and get to typing. After all, it is only 8am and I've got to hurry so I can get to the gym before work. I'm a firm believer in wine only after 9:30am, and I don't even smoke.
So let me tell you about the day that made my year..............

It's 3pm on Sunday afternoon. We had just traveled 5 hours (which felt like 10) to Tallahassee, FL to see my favorite country singer Gary Allan perform the opening act for rascal Flatts. Yes, I know, it's country. I can't help it, I'm from the Mid-west. I like a little bit of everything. Anyway..... It's so fricken hot. There is a tour bus outside the hotel. My friend says, "I bet that's him". Whatever, you freak. I think you need a drink to clear your head. As she's changing into her swim suit in the bathroom, I look out our window. There about 7 floors down is the pool. I yell, "Hurry up. There's a bunch of hotties at the pool". "That tour bus must be for another band. I don't see my boyfriend out there". I giggle. "Come on damn it, I want a shot and some sun". Finally we get to the bar. Why is it when your so anxious for something, it takes FOREVER for something as basic as a Tequila shot and a shot of Crown. Anyway, 3:30pm, finally at pool after 3 hours at the bar and two fruit flies later, and one free shot of crown. The sun feels so good. A Couple hours in the sun, a few beers and then head to the concert. Yippy! As we are laying there, I decide to check out the boys at the other side of the pool. "Damn, those boys are cute!", I say to myself. Who cares, I just want to ...... Holy shit!!!!!!!..... It's him. OH MY GOD! I can't believe it. "Give me a cigarette." "What?" "It's him, it's him!" "Seriously?" "Yep, I can tell by the tattoos on his hand and arm." I smoke my cigarette with a shaking hand, contemplating if I should say anything or not, or just what the hell to do. "excuse me? My name is Mike. What is your name?" I look up and a smiling face is looking down at me. I tell him. "It's nice to meet you two. Our fiddler player is dying for a cigarette, can I bum one for him" "They aren't mine, they are hers. What band are you with?" "Gary Allan" Mike says. "Really, we just drove 5 hours from Hilton Head, SC to see him. What time do you go on?" Then he made some weird comment about how the Wreckers are really good. Which, I still don't know where that came from. Grabbing the cigarette my friend was offering, he said they started at 8:30 and said thanks, said our names again and said nice to meet you. After he left, I grabbed another cigarette. Still smoking with a shaking hand, I decided that I wasn't going to go over there and make a fool out of myself. It was enough for me to see him in "real life", and watch him hanging out with his friends. It's not like I stared or anything, but... I did sneak peeks every now and then. After they left the pool, I laid there in the warmth of the crown and sun, I thought how cool is it that something like that happened. It was perfect. My friend gave me a really hard time because I didn't go over there and say anything. Or try to get better tickets (we had nose bleed seats), and looking back in retrospect, I should of just asked the Mike guy if when they left the pool if he could at least introduce him to me or something. That I wouldn't bother him while he was playing with the boys, but if I could at least meet him. But, honestly.... I'm perfectly happy with how it all went down. I'm not that girl that would bother someone famous. I would respect their space. I mean, come one.... They get people going up to them all the time asking for shit or trying to get laid or whatever. I just consider myself extremely lucky to be one of two people besides them hanging out at the pool enjoying the sun, having drinks and relaxing.
Except, they were drinking fruity drinks? Yuck!
Oh yeah, after a few inquires later on at the bar... They were on 15 and we were on 11, and they stay there every time they come to town.
Anyway kids................. What a wonderful way life throws chances out at you.
Shit, I've got to get to the gym.

Experimental

Ohh, that title could have so many meanings. LOL But seriously, I tried to post a picture for my profile, and it didn't show up yet. So I wonder if it will every time I post something. Anyway, I'll try it. I am so excited though, tomorrow first thing I'm on my way to Tallahassee Florida to a country concert. Yes, I know. But, I love country so what. Rascal Flatts is the headliner and my all time favorite singer is the opening act. GARY ALLAN!!!! I love him. I am driving 5 hours just to see him. Rascal (sp?)Flatts is an exceptional group. But, GARY ALLAN is my man. Anyway, I'm also just excited to go on a road trip. I love road trips. I need to get away. Some might say I live in paradise, but just like any place after awhile, it gets old. It's also the wonderer in me. I can't stay still long. I've always got to see new things, meet new people and experience new experiences. Love it. So, I'm off to bed to get some shut eye before I head out on the wonderful road.

10:15 Friday Night

I have been at work since 11:30am. For the last couple of hours I've been watching some of the first episodes of Sex in the City on my computer. Nice job huh? Actually, it's late and I'm fucking tired and ready to go home. But, I am inspired. I feel good about being single. Watching the episodes, and listening to the conversations they had really put things in perspective again. I really like being single. I love the fact that I can do what I want when I want. Sucks when your horney as shit, but that's what "friends" and toys are made for. Sound callosed? Yes, it is. But, it feels good to say it and it's the truth. That is, until I get home and I want someone to tell me that the shitty day I had doesn't matter and rub that fucking aching in my lower back from my run this morning. Then, I say .... why can't I have a boyfriend? of course. Honestly though, I'd rather be single. I would love to find that one person that would compliment me and make me feel "whole" persay. But, I am not willing to become emotionally invested in someone to even see if it will work. That's the real truth. Crap, the party is over. I've got to go and start locking it down. Just when I was getting really deep. LOL, nah. Hell, I know why I'm single.... it's now 10:40pm on Friday night and I'm at work. I'm always at work. I work three jobs. I think I do it on purpose. It's not always about the money issue. It's also a bored issue. anyway, until tomorrow when I'm at work, yes once again. tomorrow it's 9am until about 11pm. Fuck, I'm killing myself.

Geek in High School

I am such a dork. I ran into my neighbor at Barnes & Noble this afternoon. It was so weird. I lost all composure. He's hot. He's also single, or at least let's say he's not married. I've had several fantasies about having sex with him. I would safely say that after this afternoon and my reaction to a casual "run-in-to" I have developed a tiny bit of a crush on him. I saw it was him, panicked, wondered if he noticed me. Of course he did we were standing right beside each other!!! Hello! Then it all became a blur. He moved to the other side of me, because I was stuck to the floor checking out the two CD's I had special ordered, not reading the back sides mind you, more like staring a hole through them pretending to read them and slowly getting flushed and flustered. Yes, full on chest and check flush. Nice, huh. Kinda hard to hide that reaction huh? I moved out of the way finally, and said hi. He said hi. Meanwhile his two little girls had shown up beside him and were asking who I was. LOL. I know kids can read people, so I'm sure they were going "um Dad, who's that freaky girl all red and staring at those CD's in her hand over and over?" LOL. He leaned over and asked me what I was getting, and I said Rascal Flatts! What! Where the hell did that come from. So I said, I mean Little Big Town, which was the correct answer. Then continued to stare at the CD's with my head bowed until he left. Come on, how much can you read on the back of a CD? Tell you the truth, I couldn't even tell you the names of the songs by the end of the "episode". I usually have some much more control. What is going on? I can't believe what happened. The funny thing is, that I can tell there is sexual tension between us. Reminds me of the last male neighbor I had. Well, actually we will make that another time. Got to get to work to watch all the drunk old people dance the shag and make out in front of me while I'm making their drinks. Another fun exciting day in SC.